emmahircine

Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees.

Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees.

My mate asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybee..

My mate asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybeeeeeee.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?“Rob..

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

“Robin, get in the car.”

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it..

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?

Its butt. 

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?It gets toad.

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

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I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.Never again.

I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

Never again.

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Parallel lines have so much in common.It’s a shame they’ll n..

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

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I threw a boomerang a few years ago.I now live in constant f..

I threw a boomerang a few years ago.

I now live in constant fear. 

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?Because crocodoolado..

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?

Because crocodooladoo is a good family name. 

🕹 An archive of cum clips found on my old phone 🤭 (all abov..

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Time flies like an arrow.Fruit flies like a banana. 

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana. 

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make..

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

If anything, it made him more sluggish.

My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.It seemed very..

My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.

It seemed very important to him that I have it. 

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Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Co..

Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly-sliced cabbage.

When you look really closely...…all mirrors look like eyebal..

When you look really closely...

…all mirrors look like eyeballs

Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about ..

Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?

John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.”

How do you talk to Italian ghosts?With a Luigi board.

How do you talk to Italian ghosts?

With a Luigi board.

Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You..

Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”

The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.”

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?A carrot.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Curvy, creamy, busty..Alex is online and HORNY!@alexxxandria..

Curvy, creamy, busty..
Alex is online and HORNY!

@alexxxandriaaa

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What’s E.T. short for?He’s only got little legs

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to th..

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”

The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”

What came first, the chicken or the egg?Safety. Safety alway..

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Safety. Safety always comes first. 

This is your captain speaking.AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUT..

This is your captain speaking.

AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.