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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?“S..

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

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What do you call a fly with no wings?A walk.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What did the mime say to his audience?Nothing. He held his c..

What did the mime say to his audience?

Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional.

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A little seasonal throwback 🎄 nowhere near organised enough ..

A little seasonal throwback 🎄 nowhere near organised enough to have my wrapping done yet this year 😅

What’s green and has wheels?Grass. 

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. 

It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad..

It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa.

What did the buffalo say when his son left?Bison!

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

What a good little pup 🐶

What a good little pup 🐶

Three fish are in a tank.One asks the others, “How do you dr..

Three fish are in a tank.

One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?“Oops!”

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

“Oops!”

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked ..

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped fro..

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke..

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?Nothing..

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?
Nothing.

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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?He pasta-way.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?The eeriest.

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest.

What has four legs and one arm?A happy pit bull.

What has four legs and one arm?
A happy pit bull.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?Nobody kno..

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in comm..

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? 

Same middle name.  

Dungeons and tiddies, I roll a D20 for my next move. Will yo..

Dungeons and tiddies, I roll a D20 for my next move. Will you use eyes of charming to placate me or perhaps you have a different approach to besting me 😏

You’re not completely useless.You can always serve as a bad ..

You’re not completely useless.

You can always serve as a bad example. 

I broke my finger last week.On the other hand, I’m ok.

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m ok.

Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?I use a spoon..

Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?

I use a spoon. 

How does the squid go into battle?Well-armed.

How does the squid go into battle?

Well-armed.

Where does the general keep his armies?In his sleevies.

Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

What kind of pants does Mario wear?What kind of pants does M..

What kind of pants does Mario wear?What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.